our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize