let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
