She went from zero to smokin in five shots
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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