So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
