We're facebook friends in real life
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
