wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
