I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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