coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
