I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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