I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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