last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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