You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize
