I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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