You don't have asthma, your pregnant
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Can I color on your dick again?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
