the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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