One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
