I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Do vagina's smell?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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