I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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