So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
A+ Viking dick
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
