do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
