Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
