maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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