That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
