I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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