there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
