Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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