I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
