Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
We are all done wearing pants today
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
