Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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