I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
