I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
