last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
