i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
My penis needs a shock collar
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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