How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I need to stop coming to work sober
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
