I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
