please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
