my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
