I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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