yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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