I want to stick my p in your. b.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Randomize
