At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
