We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
