a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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