i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
