home. puking in laundry basket.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
