They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
