If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
It's never too late to be topless.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
