Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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