walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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