It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
