So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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