I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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